I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize