Someone shit on the floor
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
