I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
