There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
