How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
