Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
