I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
