dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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