They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
