Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
