operation harelip BJ is a go
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
