I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize