i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
