I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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