Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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