Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
