just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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