a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
