He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
