This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
