just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
