New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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