I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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