Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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