is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
