Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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