All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
