I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
