now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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