3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
