Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
