You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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