You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
