Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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