garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
