and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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