I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
