I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
