A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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