As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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