whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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