Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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