i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
