he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
