I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
