This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
