I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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