he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
