New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
