the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
