i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
