There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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