do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
