Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
