If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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