It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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