so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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