All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
His nipple licking is glorious
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