tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
