I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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