her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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