lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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